Showing posts with label building self confidence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label building self confidence. Show all posts

Thursday, 8 October 2015

Give yourself permission to let go of the stuff that holds you back.


I have been having an eye opening past few days that have really been making me think about the decisions that have to be made in my life in order for me to be able to move forwards with myself and look towards the future. One thing I know I need to do is to learn to give myself permission to let go of the things in the past that still continue to hold me back. I, like most, have been through a lot of things in my life and a lot of them still sit with me, still hold onto me like ghosts that won't let me go. I know I need to throw them off if I ever want to move forward but that's easier said than done.

There are a lot of things that you will go through in life that will affect you and will be very difficult to get rid of but the things that you are holding onto are preventing you from living the life you deserve to live. I'm not talking about just past experiences, past mistakes, but relationships too that you're holding onto, clutching at for dear life when they are doing nothing but hurting you. If there are people in your life who don't care about you, who bring you down, you are absolutely allowed to let them go.

There gets a point in life where you need to be selfish. There is nothing wrong with being selfish sometimes. That word is shamed and put down to mean that if you think about yourself for once that it's bad but it's absolutely not. Sometimes you do need to put yourself first and think about your own needs and there's nothing wrong with that. I think we get caught up in catering to other people that we forget that we are worthy of and deserving of nurturing and sometimes only we can cater to our own needs and nurture ourselves. At the end of the day we count on ourselves to create our own happiness and if we are holding on to experiences, mistakes and relationships that simply hold us back and pull us down we are never going to live happy lives. There's nothing wrong with wanting to pursue our own happiness. Looking after ourselves doesn't mean we stop looking after others and we can absolutely find a balance between the two and staying in relationships with people who hurt us is not a healthy balance.

Sometimes you need to sit down and really think about the things in your life that is holding you back. Are there relationships you have at the moment where the person seems to do nothing but pull you down and insult you? Does a person in your life only talk to you when they need something, only associate you because it benefits them? Do you find yourself stopping yourself from doing things that make you happy because you are thinking about times in the past when things have gone wrong? Are anxieties about your past stopping you from progressing to your future? Now is the time to think about those things and give yourself permission to move past them. Sometimes you may need professional help to move through past issues and this is absolutely ok, go and seek that help that you need. If there are people in your life that you need to let go of, you can begin making steps to gradually distance yourself from those people and get out of those relationships. Sometimes this may be a relationship that is more serious such as family or partners, in which case this could be an opportunity to sit down with those people and talk about the problems you are having with them. If they aren't willing to change then it's best for you to cut ties with them, but I have found that, more often than not, those people care enough about you to want to change and just didn't know that their behaviours had been an issue for you.

So here it is, here is your time to change your life and cater to your needs. Here's your opportunity to allow yourself to move forward, to work through whatever issues are keeping you connected to things and people that prevent you from living your life. You deserve happiness, you deserve to surround yourself with people who care about you, you deserve to have the future you want. Don't ever forget that.

Skye
x

Saturday, 26 September 2015

Sigil Magick and Self Love Manifesto.



I have a couple of things to talk about in this post so bare with me as it may be long!

First up I want to talk about Sigil magick. I'm a complete n00b when it comes to sigils but I have been reading up a little on chaos magick recently and sigil magick is one of the most simplest forms of chaos magick so I had a go with them last night. I carved a sigil into the side of a candle and let it burn. My understanding is that as I continue to burn the candle each day the power of the sigil will get stronger and stronger until it is burnt out when it will begin to manifest. There are other ways to activate a sigil, one of the most popular being that you light a candle, one with a corresponding colour to your desire would be best but any will do then, write the sigil on a piece of paper pouring your intent and desire into the ink as you write it on the paper. Focus your mind on what the sigil means to you and then light the paper with the candle flame and put it into a fireproof dish and let it burn out. It would probably be a good idea to let the ashes blow away on the wind outside. I personally am going to bury what's left of the candle that I can't burn out when I'm done with it. Letting it go back to the earth helps it work with the energies of the earth to manifest.

The sigils I used were one to help me get over my anxiety and depression and another to help me stick to my diet and exercise regime. I will see how this progresses over the next few weeks.

Anyone else who is a big fan of The Four Queens will know that this month has been Self Love September and I've found it to be quite an eye opening experience and one that has really made me want to continue the positive changes I've made into the foreseeable future. Anyways, she made a blog post about her self love manifesto and invited us to write a manifesto of our own. So here goes mine:

I will allow myself to feel proud of my achievements.
I never let myself be proud of the things I've accomplished and always think I could have done better or that I've not finished everything I want to achieve therefore I can't be proud yet but I am going to feel proud of what I've achieved and not compare it to anything.

I will not compare myself to others.
I have a big problem with toxic comparison and I am forever feeling like I'm in competition with everyone but this will be no more. If I begin to compare I will remind myself that I am me and they are them and we are not in competition. They will never be me and I will never be them and that is all good.

I will not hurt myself to keep other people happy.
I care so much about other people and what they think and feel that I put myself out to make them happy but I will do this no longer. I will still care for others and make them happy but I won't do it at the expense of my own happiness.

I will take care of and respect my body.
I've been riddled with eating disorders and substance abuse since my early teens. My bulimia in particular destroyed not only my body but my mind and soul too. I am in recovery and I need to take care of my body, I need to respect it, feed it good nutritious food, water it as needed, give it fresh air and exercise and give it the care and respect it deserves. It's been through a lot, especially with what I put it through and my particularly difficult pregnancy and labour and it's still standing and that's pretty fucking awesome. My body is awesome!

Give myself time to relax and not feel guilty about it.
I'm a full-time primary carer to my son, I'm self employed and I'm taking a distance learning degree in English Literature and Creative Writing and so I am constantly on the go and rarely get time to myself. I've decided that I will make time to relax and not feel guilty about doing so!

Challenge negative self talk.
I am always talking negatively about myself and from now on I will challenge my negative self talk and ask myself why I'm thinking like this, what are my reasons? And turn the negativity back into rational thought and positive beliefs about myself. Along with this I will also challenge other people's negative self talk when I hear it. Anyone I hear talking themselves down will have my correcting wand coming over them to hopefully have them challenging their own negative talk in the future!


That is all I can think of right now but major points that need addressing in my life. They are all things that I need to think about in order to be able to promote self love in myself and in others.

Have you guys been following self love September? If so have you got a manifesto? Even if you haven't been following self love September I challenge you all to come up with one for yourself and stick to it. This time next year you can come back to it and see how well you stayed within your boundaries and how you have changed.

Much love
Skye
x