Hello my lovelies, it's been a While!
I've started to do this rad new thing with my Tarot decks, right, where I pick a card each week to connect with and research and journal about and all that good stuff. I've practice Tarot for about while but lately I've hit a slump. I'm not going to lie, life got in the way and my Tarot practice slipped by the wayside. This saddens me so much because tarot is such a big part of my life that it did leave this gaping, card shaped hole in my life. Now things are finally starting to slot into place I've been pushing myself more and more to discover what I truly want and need from my life. I'm not afraid to get deep here; I've not been living, I've been existing. With everything that's happened this year my goals and dreams have been neglected in exchange for holding everyone else's on my shoulders and I'm finally beginning to wake up. I've finally started to realise my true calling and that is to help people, to bring light into people's lives.
Why is this inspired by The World, you Ask? Well my method of selection for what card I should focus on for the week is to sit and to commune with The Morrigan my matron Goddess, and then commune with the cards and ask for messages from her as to what I should focus on for this week, what energies I need to channel. She showed me The World and it's sorta catapulted me into this state of needing to find how my world really spins. I'm 26 years old and you would have thought I would have found my path by now wouldn't You? But I don't think adulting is actually that simple at all. It's not easy to work from home, care for a 16 month old, work at recovery from mental illness and take care of your family all at the same time. Sometimes I forget I'm not a superhero, though honestly I really think I should be ordained as wonder woman by Now! But yeah, it's not easy to suddenly be catapulted into adulthood where there's all those responsibilities and scary things like *gasp* calling the doctors to make an appointment myself; why my mum can't do it for me until I'm old and grey I have no idea but no apparently now I have to do it myself. You suddenly have all these things you need to do that are scary and difficult and confusing and you're not ready to get out of your blanket fort or take off your fairy princess dress Yet! Thing is that that responsibility is there because it's kinda like the price you pay for things like freedom and making your own choices about your own life (you mean I can go to bed whenever I want Now?!). This is what I've been thinking of In terms of The World.
The World tells us that we have everything we have wanted or its at least within our reach and I'm finally starting to feel as though I can reach out my chubby little fingers and pick up the future I've always dreamed of. That's partly why this blog is GOING to come back, no matter what. It will run alongside my YouTube channel, which I will contribute to more and get involved in discussion with other youtubers of a spiritual nature too. I will be making sure I fuel my heart centred brand more and bring more people into my tribe to indulge in some of my Tarot consultancy because I am desperate to make a difference, I'm desperate to guide and help and bring light to people's lives. I say desperate because it's like a compulsive urge I have and have had since I was a child, to help people, go truly make a difference to people's lives. I want to use Tarot to guide people, I want to use this blog and the YouTube channel to teach and inspire people and to further that I want to take a course in either life coaching or spiritual counselling to make sure that I am able to help people to the very best of my ability. I even want to to go back to dressing in a way that makes little girls ask their mummies if I'm a fairy princess (yes this used to happen on a daily basis for me before I morphed into mum Style!) Because I want my light to shine to the point that people feel my warmth. Don't get me wrong, it's a selfish endeavour too, but selfish in the very best way. Selfish doesn't need to be bad, we can do things for ourselves and that fulfil us without feeling guilty for it and I think it's a pretty good deal if my selfishness helps benefit other people too.
So there we go, The World has popped up and it's screaming at me "Reach out and grab It! It's everything you've ever wanted" so I am doing. I'm doing it, and you know What? I finally feel like I deserve it. I fucking deserve it.
And so do you my jelly tots, so do you.